Some people are just jerks, and not much can be done to change them.
Do you agree with this statement? If your answer is yes, here’s
something you might consider: Research suggests that believing in the
human capacity to change is linked to less depression, better health, and greater achievement.
This is the “growth mindset,” an idea pioneered by
Stanford researcher Carol Dweck. It’s the opposite of a “fixed mindset,”
the idea that people are born either smart or not, kind or not, strong
or not—and people just don’t change all that much.
According to this research, when we practice a growth mindset, the
obstacles we’re facing seem more surmountable. It’s crucial for us to
realize that we are not helpless; we can grow and adapt. Just as
important as seeing ourselves as capable of growth, however, is the
belief that someone who is challenging us can change, too. This
perspective releases some of the pressure we might feel, and helps us to
think more in terms of challenges than threats.
We shouldn’t only believe in the ability of other people to change for
their benefit, however. We are the ones who stand the most to gain when we see possibilities in others. For example, one recent study
found that teens who learned about the growth mindset in relation to
bullying—hearing that bullies could change, and no one was stuck as an
aggressor or victim—were more resilient to social stress. Even when they
got ignored or felt shy, for example, they didn’t become overwhelmed or
physically stressed out. Seven months later, they were even getting
better grades.
That’s a fairly easy idea to suggest, and perhaps you already believe
in it. But if you’re a parent or educator, the challenge lies in
helping kids to see the advantages and the ways that it can be applied
to their lives and relationships. Here are some tips for helping kids
turn a fixed mindset into a growth one.